Ran two pieces of description past a superior colleague to make sure i was being fair and equitable in describing bodies without being creepy. Received passing marks but one of the comments they gave was “…we get a very clear look at what Ikher is attracted to…”. And that gave me pause. Cause it wasn’t suppose to.
Good shit though. I went back and made some alterations to show more of what Ikher is attracted to. But then it snow balled and now Im back in 18 and 19 making changes to Elias and Nancy’s attention to detail.
Yay for getting better slowly. Thanks for reading! ^_^
On my ass crack of dawn drive back to the DMZ yesterday, my sleep deprived brain realized that I could write the sequel story at the same time as the current story. Most of the original characters would be dead or older when it happens so there wouldn’t be any cross confusion.
But do I really want to be working on two shits at the same time?
I mean I already have the Alternate Timeline stuff queued up, as well as the Meridian Cowboy AU 10 chapter thing, AND the fucking sex scenes that have only gotten a slight glance.
Yeah, sure! Another 3 to 5 book story could fit right in there. >_<
I lied earlier. I did have some fucks today. Not for writing/editing though. I extended the timeline just to see who would still be alive. Turns out, a lot of them. Still don’t think there would be too many problems as what I have of the sequel stuff only makes light mention of aunts or uncles.
That said, holy shit. That long hard look at the timeline was eye opening. Like damn, maybe I don’t have to do too many time jumps. There is a ton going on. As well as me glossing over a couple of characters who are now likely providing more content. Ugh.
So yeah, herded cats today. Maybe I will have it in my to keep pushing on C21+ tomorrow. Though, I think I will likely be looking at where and how to start the sequel. Hmmm……
First round (story alterations and adding details) edits are done through Chapter 20. I want to keep going but I need to have a fuck it all day or two.
One beta reader finished draft one. He’s a film maker and art snob so I knew he would let me know if anything was too shitty. He said he loved it and is harassing me too get going on book 02. Most of his suggested changes I was already working on and the one I wasn’t should only be adding in a few lines of dialogue. That said, I need to kick a few of my other beta’s so I can verify this thing is good to go for round two edits.
As I sit here finishing the edits on B01C18 I’m feeling a little sad. When I finish this one, I’ll have 14 chapters left to go. As long as I don’t have any big story complaints from betas, it gets one last quick pass and goes to copy editing. Makes zero sense why I’m sad cause I have half of B02 done. I’ll be fleshing that out while B01 is getting beaten up by the grammar/tense/spelling nazis.
Maybe its because it’s my first child and I’m sending it off to school? Eh, who knows.
Anyway, it’s a laid back Sunday so here’s some good writing/editing music to put on repeat while you hammer away at some words. Thanks for reading! ^_^
In talks with said ardent Beta reader, she expressed that she liked how I described my male lead. When I asked about other characters, she was fairly spot on for all but the female lead. She got that she was tall but thought she was dainty.
Troubling since yes, Nance is tall but she’s also fairly broad shouldered with large hands (and feet). So now, I’m back in some earlier chapters sprinkling things in.
As I’ve said before, description isn’t my strong suit (dialog all day), plus the story is in varying 3rd. I don’t like doing info dumps of description, so I do it from who ever is in charge of the ‘camera’ in that scene.
Ikher’s a genuinely good person, so he says that Janine has ample curves. Where as Candace calls her a fat bitch. Ikher notices how Nancy’s hands are larger than his when she hands his cup back or how, once he sees her in regular clothes, she is bustier than her tracksuit let on. Elias, on the other hand, finds Nancy’s broad shoulders off putting but meets her because he’s ‘always wanted to see her tits’.
Doing it this way makes you wait a bit to get the full picture, but it’s hopefully a little more immersive. Now to figure out how to phrase this stuff without being too nice or straying into /menwritingwomen territory.
One of my most ardent beta readers has been devouring the edited chapters. Which is good because it lights a fire under my ass to get shit done. The mistake I keep making is telling her “yeah X chapter shouldn’t need that much work.”
Ha. Haha. Silly boy. All these damn chapters need work. lol
01-05 needed a TON of clean up and some slight narrative alteration. 06-10 needed almost as much of each. 11-15 needed less clean up but were the main chapters where i had to adjust Nancy and Ikher’s dialogue/interactions to make her human and less robot programmed to be cold and horrible.
Currently, 16, 17, 19, and 20 just needed some cursory clean up and expanded description. 18 is one of the BIG chapters, so its getting multiple passes with fine toothed editing combs.
Looking forward: 21 -25 will need a little bit of dialogue clean up and im probably going to alter the chapter order.
26-30. 27 through 30 will likely be the usual clean up and expanded description. 29 will be the most in depth of those since its a big turning point. 26 how ever is the other BIG chapter. So that one will get the same treatment as 18.
31-34 are all down hill for the most part. The last ones written so they will need less work.
So yeah, I want to say I’ve learned my lesson and wont say “X doesn’t need that much work” again but yeah, it’s gonna happen.
It’s still amazing to me how much you have to keep track of in a single scene. The current scene is two people, talking and sharing a joint while one cooks. Seems simple enough. But I have to keep track of:
– the progression through the various stages of cooking – the back and forth of the joint between the people and its location when not being smoked – the high progression of the person less used to smoking – the mannerisms of one person as the conversation makes her remember things she hadn’t thought about in some time – the reaction of the other person to the change in mannerisms
Four days and I can get back to it. After seeing all the cool shit people get printed my body (mind?) is READY to get this editing done for B01 so I can start the steps towards having an actual physical copy in my hands.
I wish PF had a calendar function so I could go back and look at last December and see if I was as whiny about not being able to write. I don’t THINK I’ve been whiny this time. At least not here. My wife and sister have had to endure the majority of my whinging.
Aside from Stardew, I’ve been playing on ArtBreeder trying to get headshots for the whole big ass Ybarra+ family. Get them shits up eventually. The guys are WAY harder than the ladies and not having the right hair can make someone look completely wrong.
Been a fan of Wonder Woman since i was little. Loved watching Linda Carter do her thing and pretended I was Wonder Woman when Id play by myself (her or the hulk).
I was disappointed when they cast Gal Gadot (i wanted someone more physically imposing) but she did a great job in the first movie and in the second.
I don’t like some of the choices they made for this movie but it was fun and true to the character (EXCEPT her pining after a dude for 30 fucking years. She knew him for like two weeks. The fuck outta here).
So yeah, I came in with the worst expectations and came out happy. First classing works. =)